[Originally posted on Facebook: 05/02/2017]

So, it’s been a solid 7 years since Gorillaz last effort (I don’t really consider “The Fall” an “album”) and I decided to see (or rather, hear) what all the hype around “Humanz” was about.

Top 3 tracks:

1. Saturnz Barz (Spirit House) (feat. Popcaan)

2. Hallelujah Money (feat. Benjamin Clementine)

3. Andromeda (feat. D.R.A.M.)

Pros: Firstly, this album was not made on an iPad, in fact the strongest thing I can say about this album is that it is masterfully produced. All the songs “sound” good and are well mixed.

Secondly, there are a lot of tracks on this album, if you liked this album, you are going to get a lot of it, and much like Plastic Beach, features a myriad of artists from a number of genres in Hip Hop, Rap, and R&B.

Bottom 3:

• 1. She’s My Collar (feat. Kali Uchis)
• 2. Charger (feat. Grace Jones)
• 3. Sex Murder Party (feat. Jamie Principle & Zebra Katz)

Cons: This album is an absolute pile.

Sorry, let me explain that, this album is 6 years of wasted potential because Damon doesn’t give a fuck anymore.

This album, and Damon’s subsequent promotion for it are a train-wreck from top to bottom and commits some of what I consider are the biggest cardinal sins when featuring artists.

Damon said in early promo interviews “The album never goes under 120bpm”The first single “Hallelujah Money” is under 120bpm, as if going under 120bpm is the reason The Fall was bad, or completely forgetting the fact some of the best Gorillaz songs of all time are under or right at 120bpm.

Speaking of Hallelujah Money, Damon said when it was released that it wasn’t a single on the album and was “Not on the original album”, Except it was, and is.

Cardinal Sins you say? The featuring artist should NEVER start the song, never. Why? Because they are the FEATURED artist, not the main person. In Kanye’s song “Amazing” does Young Jeezy start the song? NO, is he the person singing the chorus? NO, but he does have a sweet verse because he’s…..FEATURED, it’s NOT HIS SONG.

EVERY SONG BUT PROBABLY 2 ON THIS ALBUM DO THAT, EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. SO IN ACTUALITY, IT SHOULD BE “VARIOUS ARTISTS – FEAT. THE GORILLAZ” and really it’s not even that, because only 1 song on the album even *remotely* reminds you that this is a Gorillaz album, and that’s Saturnz Barz.

Way back when, Damon said that “Plastic Beach” wasn’t originally a Gorillaz album but an album that he *gasp* wanted to use as a way to collaborate with people and showcase them, but then ended up turning it into Gorillaz album because reasons. Plastic Beach also committed the same cardinal sins BUT kept true to 2 things. There were songs that did NOT feature anyone, and the overall feel to the album was the same.

Worst of all, Damon sounds bored as fuck, he sounds like he phoned it in about as hard as you could, he’s turned down in the mix in most of the sections he’s in AND IT’S HIS BAND.

Andromeda is what did it for me, because even though it is the one song that Damon starts in, I never felt once during that song that “2D” was singing, it’s just Damon singing to about the same beat as every other song on the album, with no personality or none of it.

Humanz is Damon Albarn filling up his resume so he can go “Yea? That guy? Yea I worked with him, check out this thing we did”

4 / 10

I only give it a 4 because ultimately, there are some really solid efforts on here, and a couple of people who I will actually now seek out to listen to more of, but you know who I’m not going to actively listen to more of anymore? Whatever the hell Damon calls “The Gorillaz” now.

[New note: Nope, still garbage. “Saturnz Barz” I will occasionally put on, but every subsequent release has been infinitely better than this one. Song Machine 1 is the best Gorillaz record in a decade.]